Obama Presses for Volcano Regulations

VaRight hit one out of the park.

Saying that this is a disaster that did not need to happen, President Obama promised tough, new regulations against volcanoes.

“We simply cannot have unregulated volcanoes spewing this vile content across the world.” Said Obama.

A reporter asked if the volcano was too big to fail, to which the president mumbled something about not having supported him in the election.

In a related note, Eric Holder promised a fast indictment of the volcano and his plans to hold trial in Seattle, the site of Mt. St. Helens.

“There will be no military tribunals for this. So don’t even ask” Holder retorted.

Joe Biden said this “was a big fu%$ing deal”.

Nancy Pelosi said she was considering add an amendment to the bill to take over another industry, assuming she could think of something the government does n0t currently own.