Sunday, March 14, 2010

A Little Sarcasm

Just a few random quotes
from the Sarcastic Society

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

- Paul Newman

It's a catastrophic success.

- Stephen Bishop

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

- Stephen Bishop

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

- Abba Eban

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

- Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

- Oscar Wilde

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

- Oscar Wilde

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

- Victor Borge

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

- Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.

- Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

- Clarence Darrow

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

- Winston Churchill

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

- Forrest Tucker

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

- Billy Wilder

It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.

- Caron de Beaumarchais