from the Sarcastic Society
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
“It's a catastrophic success.”
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.”
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
“He has Van Gogh's ear for music.”
“It is not necesssary to understand things in order to argue about them.”
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